William and Kate

Thrillingly, kids, there is news of Kate Middleton, Lost in Showbiz’s second favourite indolent arriviste. In recent months – years, maybe? – Prince William’s girlfriend has had to endure the barbs of those vulgarians too benighted to understand the demands of being a permanently-auditioning consort. Waspish courtiers have reportedly nicknamed her “Waity Katie”; even the Queen was said to have been concerned that the public perceives madam as workshy. more